Great news: Google has turned us into armchair experts on everything. In just a few minutes, we can know better than experts who have committed their entire careers to complicated scientific subjects.
Thanks to social media, each of us is now our own talking head in a 24/7 outrage news cycle. Reporting live from an undisclosed echo chamber: I have some stuff to say about … stuff.
That athlete wore what? For me, it’s Spandex or nothing!
A school board in another state is allowing hoverboards? How dare they?! Hoverboards have been known to cause toe cramps, which can lead directly to higher high school dropout rates! I read about it on my mom’s former doctor’s Facebook page.
Unprecedented instant access to information and misinformation has blurred the lines on what constitutes a “fact.” As a result, we can confirm any of our biases simply by re-posting headlines of articles we haven’t even read.
Do we really need to have an opinion on everything?
We are a fired-up people. We have hot takes on everything from health to sports to politics — everything is fair game in our no-holds-barred arena of digitally shielded keyboard warriors. And any post can serve as an online hand grenade or myopic mic drop moment.
Here’s an un-researched fact: no one has ever changed her mind in the comments section of a Facebook post. In the history of Twitter, a hot-take argument has never made someone go, “You know what? I was wrong; Earth may be round after all.”
I realize the irony here: I’m writing my hot take on hot takes. You’re probably reading this online, and you can feel free to disagree vehemently with your own hot take on my hot take on hot takes. Take it or leave it.
The point is, just because we have the opportunity or freedom to tee off with our half-baked opinions doesn’t mean we should. After all, if everything is important, nothing is important.
We have the right to free speech protected by the First Amendment … right? This was the capital “F,” capital “A” First Amendment! Number one! Your neighbor has a right to air his unpopular, morally repugnant opinion on Facebook … doesn’t he?
You may be surprised to learn that the answer is a big, fat “nope.” The First Amendment only protects us from the government. As private companies, Facebook, Twitter, et al. have no obligation to allow their users to say whatever they want. In the same way that a newspaper or other media entity has no obligation to publish your article (or mine, for that matter), a social media company does not have to allow any of us to offer our opinions on its platform. You are subject to its policies, terms and conditions.
Furthermore, you can actually get fired for the way you express your free speech. With a few exceptions, your employer can give you the boot for the views you articulate on social media. In addition, your social media timeline could prevent you from getting hired by a potential employer. This is something to consider.
I have no doubt that social media has accelerated the ideological and cultural divides in the U.S. We need to learn how to discern credible sources from run-of-the-mill hokum. We need to actually read the articles we’re posting that enforce our decidedly unbudging views. Frankly, we need to be a hell of a lot kinder to each other. If we aim to teach our kids and grandkids to be nicer, we need to model the civility we want to see the next generations of American leaders to express.
Maybe — just maybe — the world doesn’t need our hot takes on the outrage du jour. I miss the version of the internet that was mostly videos of cats falling off furniture and babies making funny faces. Let’s all take a deep breath, watch a funny cat video or two and then decide whether or not our diatribe is worth the rise in everyone’s collective blood pressure.
Curtis Honeycutt is a syndicated humor columnist. He is the author of Good Grammar is the Life of the Party: Tips for a Wildly Successful Life. Find more at curtishoneycutt.com.
