When Mr. G went to bed on Saturday night, his life was fine. But, when he woke the next day, he discovered he had lost his personality.
Shocking, I know. Impossible, yes, of course. But, by the time you’ve finished today’s column, you will have learned a great deal about your own personality.
It was a summer Sunday, and Mr. G woke up at 9 a.m. He stuck his head inside his refrigerator: Bacon? No. Juice? No. “Am I hungry, or not,” he yelled. Slam, goes the refrigerator door.
Next, Mr. G opened the Sunday paper. Sports page? No. Comics? No. He is angry now, and like a pig digging in a garbage pile, he begins to snort and rummage through the paper. He spies a pair of scissors and cut, cut, cut. Feeling better, he cuts more: magazines, napkins, a stray sock, cut, cut, cut.
He takes a shower and begins to feel almost normal, proof of which is his smile, greeting him in a foggy mirror as he shaves. “Why is my hair so long? Do I like that look?” Indecision sweeps him away, so, cut, cut, cut. Mr. G panics, help! I need my friend Peter. But first, get dressed.
Lime-green paisley tie, wool pants with a button fly. Soft and silky cashmere socks, hey, is that a tie with a cuckoo clock? Blue jeans, too-tight jeans, well, shouldn’t have put em in the washing-go-sheen. Shoes, oh my! A vast sea of shoes. Black shoes, brown shoes, leather from a camel’s hide; red shoes, yellow shoes, flip flops made of poly-ur-a-thide. Itchy wool sweater, did I check the weather? Hats, hats, what’s that? A bombardier hat with flaps. What do I like to wear?
Mr. G is sitting in Peter’s office. Peter is the police chief of their rural town. “Why are you wearing that hat,” Peter asks. When Mr. G removes it, Peter’s eyes widen into saucers — his friend’s head looks like a shiny white cue ball. Bald.
“Pete, I’ve got to know. What kind of person was I before today?” Peter leans back, snags a photo off his shelf and hands it over. “This picture is of you teaching my two sons how to fly fish. Remember? When Angie died, I fell apart. You were there for me. For three years, you practically raised my boys.
Mr. G., I promise you, I will find your personality. We are going to treat this like a missing person case. I want every scrap of paper about you- old report cards, letters, pictures, so we can build a personality profile. Also, I want you to see this doctor.”
Mr. G meets the doctor:
“Mr. G, there is an operation called PPB (put personality back), but it’s risky. Before you decide, I’m going to teach you these concepts: 1. Personality Trait 2. Personality Disorder 3. Temperament 4. Character
I’m going to draw a two-story, red brick house which has a big furnace. Just like this house, your personality is made up of bricks, where each brick is something you like, or dislike. Every person has what are called personality traits. Here are examples: sensitivity, empathy, kindness, honesty. These acts like mortar to hold all the bricks together. By placing the words, ‘lack of’, in front of the personality trait, you make what is called a personality disorder. For example, the lack of empathy, responsibility and honesty makes an antisocial personality disorder. These people have no conscience, which allows them the ability to hurt others without feeling guilt.
Temperament is the “emotional core” of a personality. It is like a furnace, producing hot emotions such as anger, fear, passion, or motivation. Because temperament is highly inherited, a child’s temperament is a good predictor of adult emotionality. A stubborn child is likely to be a stubborn adult.
Character is the foundation and roof of a house, the structures which protect and create stability. Character is the ability to control such basic drives as aggression or greed.
“Mr. G, I can give you a Personality Test, combine the results with the data Peter gathered, and put your personality back in place. Ok?” Mr. G replied, “let’s give it a try”.
Conclusion: The heart of today’s story lies hidden inside this question: how do you explain why one person can show kindness, love and trust, while a second person can be corrupt, self-centered and greedy? A personality disorder? A life of harsh and abusive events?
No, it is something else. Regardless of our backgrounds, we possess a rare gift: the power to decide who we want to be. In every person’s life, there are moments of crisis. During these times, they find themselves alone, teetering upon the edge of a cliff. When I meet this person, I can choose to shove them over the edge, or, I can extend my hand in kindness. The decision you make defines who you are.
The content of this article is for educational purposes only, and should not be used as a substitute for treatment by a professional. The characters in this story are not real. Names and details have been changed to protect confidentiality.
Reference: “Fatal Flaws,” Stuart Yudofsky, 2005.
Dr. Richard Elghammer contributes his column each week to the Journal Review.
