I hopped on the seat and silently asked God for protection.
The children were all occupied or napping , it was my chance to head for “Rest,” the section where Daniel had been clearing trees in preparation for someday planting chestnut trees. I dream of planting trees in there one day, but for now we’ll plant grass seed and give that lot a break for a couple of years. This time as I headed back, I thought of that section being the only one with rolling hills. Since Daniel passed I’ve come to enjoy driving the tractor, but even these slight hills still have a way of freaking me out a bit. I envisioned the tractor rolling or some sort of dilemma creeping up on me. I thought of Dad’s advice about going up and down the hills rather than driving along the side of them. I did a double take to make sure the roll bar was in position, then clicked in the seat belt.
The sun shone perfectly. It was a warm summer day, but I didn’t mind, being outdoors was refreshing. I had the field all to myself, or so I thought.
I thought of the CPR classes I had attended that morning; just because we had some more training doesn’t mean anything’s going to happen now! I went up hill and down. “This is kinda neat, it may be a bit more of a challenge, but it’s kinda fun,” I told myself. At one point, when I thought I might be stuck in one of the valleys by a stump hidden in the tall weeds, I stopped to put it in four-wheel drive and gear down a bit more. I was out and on my way again. Relieved, I took another sip of water from my pink water bottle that travels with me all over the farm and to church.
As I mowed across the edge of the field, cloudy thoughts tried to envelope me. I wondered how I would ever fully push through negative thought patterns. I wondered how life could ever be okay, so much in life just hurt. At that moment I felt something brush across my bare foot; I glanced down: a snake! I screamed and jerked my foot back. It was smooth and green, exactly the color of the tall weeds I was mowing. I shivered. In my mind I could see Eve in the garden of Eden. The snake then also was a natural part of the surroundings there. Will it be worth it, like Eve, to overthink things and face the consequences that come from rationalizing situations on my own? I grasped that tractor wheel with new resolution. No. I could not just make myself okay, but He can take care of anything!
I circled around again. The enemy will not win in my life. I am free to bring my cares to Jesus and know that all is well, no matter what may come.
As I continued on, I kept eyeing the fuel gauge, though I knew the tank was close to three-quarters full. My mind flashed back to that time when I was mowing the horses’ back pasture earlier this summer. Austin and I each took a tractor and set out to mow — he would use the finish mower in the grove and I’d bush-hog the pasture. I rounded the corner to open the gate and head on back; as I did so, I passed Austin where he had stopped at the overhead tank to fuel up. I told him I was proud of him for taking responsibility to take care of it without being reminded. My heart swelled with joy as we set out to mow.
I had not gone far when my tractor ... stopped. I glanced at the gauge — you’re kidding me! I had been negligent myself. Gulp. Jesse was pleased to go get a jug of fuel for me with Tizza, our pony he was driving in the cart. All’s well that ends well. Today that gauge had a way of getting my attention — then again, and yet again.
I came closer to the exact area where Daniel had been pinned between that oak tree and his track hoe. Entering that shaded area with the tractor, I found myself singing, “This is holy ground ... for where He is, is holy ground.” God was there; I could feel it all over. I am sobered to think of the promise in Isaiah 57:15, where we are told that He who is high and lofty dwells in the holy place with those who are of a contrite and humble spirit. Oh Lord, to walk in greater humility with You!
The remainder of my time back there in the field was uneventful. A bit regretfully, I turned the tractor back toward the house. The house wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be ... yet I did want to get in touch with you all!
And as we all seek the face of Him who is high and holy, may we be humbled and Him glorified!
The littlest guy in our home, with a shock of curls, is constantly hungry these days. He likes to eat things that count, such as protein balls, meat, and such — so we’ll do a recipe that caters to him. Join Joshua and me as we mix up a batch of meatballs. Thanks to a friend for sharing this recipe with us this week!
Out The Door Meatballs
3 pounds ground beef
1 onion chopped (1 cup)
2 eggs
1 cup milk
2 teaspoon Salt
1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 Tbsp. minced garlic
Instructions:
Line baking sheet with foil and spray. Scoop meatballs with medium cookie scoop. Bake at 350 degrees until no longer pink. Works well to make double the amount you plan to eat, then freeze the extra in a freezer bag. Place the ones you’ll have for dinner into a pan and cover with a jar of marinara sauce.
Gloria Yoder is an Amish house-wife in rural Illinois. She is the third writer of The Amish Cook column since its inception in 1991. Yoder can be reached by writing: The Amish Cook, P.O. Box 157, Middletown, Ohio 45042.
